Sidenotes: I have two great blog posts/articles for you quarterlifers to check out. The first is at GenPink, where the guest blogger writes about actually surviving a quarterlife crisis. My blog may be named Quarterlife Survivor, but I'm not quite there yet!
The second is an article that my friend in Illinois told me about. A columnist named Matt Brandenburg from the Northwest Herald tries your job for a day. He recently worked for a day at an animal shelter. Read and watch about his experiences here.
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Today where I live got blasted by yet another snowstorm. I specifically remember during my semester in Los Angeles (singing Christmas carols as I drove past the beach) promising myself I would not have to live through another snowy winter. Hundreds of snow-filled days later, I wonder why I didn't move immediately.
The answers/excuses come pretty easily. I couldn't afford it. All of my close friends are here. My family is here. My job is here. Except for scraping ice off my windshield most mornings and getting snow down my shoes, I'm pretty comfortable here.
That hasn't kept me from trying to move. I've applied to countless places located all over the country. I went to a website where I took a lengthy quiz to determine my optimal place to live. It wasn't here. I dream of flip-flops filled days while I dress in layers.
Job opportunities are also relevant to where you live. There is a booming industry here, but not one that I'm interested in. To pursue my more creative urges, I'd probably have to move elsewhere.
What about you? Is there a place you've always wanted to live? A place you relocated to? Are you stuck somewhere you really wish you weren't? Tell all in the comments. :o)
Showing posts with label Quarterlife Crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quarterlife Crisis. Show all posts
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
One really isn't so lonely...
By the time I had graduated college, I had been a bridesmaid four times, a maid of honor two of those times, and had a running tally of all the people I knew who were engaged. At one point, the list exceeded 25 couples. I had some very busy, wedding-filled summers. Some couples got crossed off, some names changed, some families formed, and some hearts were broken. It all went on this list.
It's just another part of the twentysomething's life that relationships are formed and broken. Some of those relationships head towards marriage. So singleness or coupledom is a part of the process.
In my situation, I am an incredibly happy single. I have enough drama in my life in the moment, and this is one part of life in which I am currently content. Perhaps it's because I'm surrounded by friends (girls and guys) who so desperately want to love and be loved that they get a little desperate, or perhaps it's because I'm fiercely independent and don't want to be defined by anyone else, but whatever the reason, I'm a happy single.
I just learned a new term for this. It's "quirkyalone," by the book and website of the same name. According to this New York Times article, a quirkyalone is someone who “generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple.” I've spent years trying to explain my contented state to friends and relatives, so it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. If I meet someone, great. If not, I'm not going to worry too much about it.
I also learned that if you want to embrace your consumerism and your singleness at the same time, you can buy a single ring, or "Singelringen" from a company in Sweden. (On their website they say, "Singles of the world - Unite!" Isn't that kind of contradictory?)
What are your thoughts? Are you a quirkyalone? A blissful newleywed? Just starting a new relationship? Or wishing you were? How do you think this all affects a quarterlife crisis?
It's just another part of the twentysomething's life that relationships are formed and broken. Some of those relationships head towards marriage. So singleness or coupledom is a part of the process.
In my situation, I am an incredibly happy single. I have enough drama in my life in the moment, and this is one part of life in which I am currently content. Perhaps it's because I'm surrounded by friends (girls and guys) who so desperately want to love and be loved that they get a little desperate, or perhaps it's because I'm fiercely independent and don't want to be defined by anyone else, but whatever the reason, I'm a happy single.
I just learned a new term for this. It's "quirkyalone," by the book and website of the same name. According to this New York Times article, a quirkyalone is someone who “generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple.” I've spent years trying to explain my contented state to friends and relatives, so it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. If I meet someone, great. If not, I'm not going to worry too much about it.
I also learned that if you want to embrace your consumerism and your singleness at the same time, you can buy a single ring, or "Singelringen" from a company in Sweden. (On their website they say, "Singles of the world - Unite!" Isn't that kind of contradictory?)
What are your thoughts? Are you a quirkyalone? A blissful newleywed? Just starting a new relationship? Or wishing you were? How do you think this all affects a quarterlife crisis?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Depression is a depressing topic
I don't know about the rest of the quarterlifers out there, but I had always been described with words like cheerful, joyful, bubbly, and, my favorite, annoyingly happy.
Of course, this was all before graduating from college. My graduation was marked by more tragedy than most are - I went to my ceremony one day, and a high school classmate's funeral the next. That, more than anything, drove into my mind that this was real life, and I had to do everything in my power to make sure that I made the most of it.
This "real life" has proven harder than any exam I had to take or paper I had to write. There's no clear syllabus of what's coming next, or no guide as to what options are best for certain majors. Not prepared for the miriad of choices, I, the "annoyingly cheerful" one, suffered from bouts of depression. Which is hard to admit until you're lying on the floor in your parents' bedroom, sobbing that you have no skills and no direction in life. Every door seems closed, yet at the same time, too many seem open.
While reading the book "Quarterlife Crisis," I was encouraged/horrified to read that many quarterlifers suffer from depression during this time. Lack of funds, choices, and/or purpose can all lead to this.
I found the book "Quarterlife Crisis," ironically, too depressing to keep reading, but if you're interested in learning more about this new crisis, you should certainly check it out.
Too often lately I have been depending on circumstances to make me happy. If this continues, I realized, I won't be happy no matter the circumstance. I need to be content no matter my current job, social status, bank account statement, or housing arrangement.
When I spoke to some close friends about these depressing feelings, more than one suggested that I volunteer somewhere. "What?" I thought. "This is supposed to be about me, not about helping someone else. I'm the one that needs help."
Yet they had a point. Depression is a very self-centered feeling/disease. And volunteering is a great way to combat that. Not only do you help others, but you feel better about yourself, too. And not all volunteer positions are in soup kitchens or nursing homes. I did a Google search for volunteer options in my area, and found a non profit organization that was looking for a writer. I got some great experience, added to my portfolio, and broadened my horizons a bit, all while helping out others.
If you don't have time to commit to another organization or group, see if you can help out people you already know. Maybe a friend needs help with a move. Or perhaps your mom wants to organize all those old pictures. Your neighbor doesn't quite understand the difference between a mouse and a computer. I'm sure, if you look for it, you can find all sorts of people who are already in your life that could use your assistance in some matter. Don't be pushy, but be helpful. You'll help them with a task, and perhaps strengthen or build a relationship while you're helping.
If that's too much to think about right now, then just watch this amazing video by improv everywhere. It will make you laugh.
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/03/09/food-court-musical/#more-221
Of course, this was all before graduating from college. My graduation was marked by more tragedy than most are - I went to my ceremony one day, and a high school classmate's funeral the next. That, more than anything, drove into my mind that this was real life, and I had to do everything in my power to make sure that I made the most of it.
This "real life" has proven harder than any exam I had to take or paper I had to write. There's no clear syllabus of what's coming next, or no guide as to what options are best for certain majors. Not prepared for the miriad of choices, I, the "annoyingly cheerful" one, suffered from bouts of depression. Which is hard to admit until you're lying on the floor in your parents' bedroom, sobbing that you have no skills and no direction in life. Every door seems closed, yet at the same time, too many seem open.
While reading the book "Quarterlife Crisis," I was encouraged/horrified to read that many quarterlifers suffer from depression during this time. Lack of funds, choices, and/or purpose can all lead to this.
I found the book "Quarterlife Crisis," ironically, too depressing to keep reading, but if you're interested in learning more about this new crisis, you should certainly check it out.
Too often lately I have been depending on circumstances to make me happy. If this continues, I realized, I won't be happy no matter the circumstance. I need to be content no matter my current job, social status, bank account statement, or housing arrangement.
When I spoke to some close friends about these depressing feelings, more than one suggested that I volunteer somewhere. "What?" I thought. "This is supposed to be about me, not about helping someone else. I'm the one that needs help."
Yet they had a point. Depression is a very self-centered feeling/disease. And volunteering is a great way to combat that. Not only do you help others, but you feel better about yourself, too. And not all volunteer positions are in soup kitchens or nursing homes. I did a Google search for volunteer options in my area, and found a non profit organization that was looking for a writer. I got some great experience, added to my portfolio, and broadened my horizons a bit, all while helping out others.
If you don't have time to commit to another organization or group, see if you can help out people you already know. Maybe a friend needs help with a move. Or perhaps your mom wants to organize all those old pictures. Your neighbor doesn't quite understand the difference between a mouse and a computer. I'm sure, if you look for it, you can find all sorts of people who are already in your life that could use your assistance in some matter. Don't be pushy, but be helpful. You'll help them with a task, and perhaps strengthen or build a relationship while you're helping.
If that's too much to think about right now, then just watch this amazing video by improv everywhere. It will make you laugh.
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/03/09/food-court-musical/#more-221
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